Nothing To Say

Gloomy day today and I have class at 1:30. There's not really much to say. Just felt like writing again. Thing is, I don't know what to write about. My brain's pretty much been been incapable of doing any writing the past couple of months. I haven't had much of a reason to write about anything since so much has been going on lately. So here's a quick thought, how hard is it to say goodbye? I dread to know the feeling.

Life..

So life and it's major complexities has gotten even more complex. Once again, everything just piles up on me. As always. This, people is how lucky at life I am. Every single day, I feel like everyone and everything's going against me. The whole world possibly and it's just getting to be too much. I wish i could disappear forever. I know some people would like that, but unfortunately, it's not that easy..

I don't know what I did to make soo many people want to talk about my life. Honestly, I'm not just assuming things but it's so clear that it's like mere entertainment for people. Especially in this town to talk about the rise and the downfall's of people. When did talking about problem's about other people get to be so fun?! I just wish that people would stop and listen to both sides of the story before making assumptions. It hurts to have to hear shit talk about this and that when that's not even the half of it. You all wish you knew, but honestly you don't. It sucks to know that some of the people you thought you knew, wanna ruin your life so badly. I just don't get it. It hurts and I don't know what to do anymore..

Anyways, that's life. Like I always say, If it doesn't kill you it only makes you stronger..

Keep Your Friends Close, and Your Enemies Closer

Frenemies- adj. people who act like your friends but are really your enemies.

I guess a few of us here or there have had our own share of the so called " fair-weathered friends". I know i sure have and it's actually pretty disgusting. The friends who are there for you when it's all fun and games but when the going gets tough, where are they to be found? NOWHERE. But I'm glad to say that I now know a handful of who my true friends really are. And it's really satisfying to finally learn that, after years of endless laughter and jokes but at the same time deeply saddening. That's life for ya!! If it doesn't kill you it only makes you stronger, after all, right?

Anyways, after it's all said and done, some things never change. Or some people, rather. I'd rather waste my time talking to people about substantial things rather than that girl who just walked into the room not wearing the latest in spring fashion. haha. And yes, I admit, I used to be one of those girls who wasted my time talking about her, her and him. But after a few hefty realizations, it's just not me anymore. It's useless and gets you absolutely nowhere in life, unfortunately. Although it was a bit fun at times, like a guilty pleasure, almost. Anyways people, at the end of the day when we leave high school and go our separate ways, are the same people from high school still going to stick by us? College is going to define who we will become in the future. And no amount of social status is going to save us then. So time check! High school's almost over, for some of us at least and thus the high school of life begins. Anyways, that's all for now. I'm out! :)

Party filled weekend, so much fun and Judd's leaving on Tuesday. It was his last weekend here in Cebu and It's pretty damn sad. :( I'm home, sober and left alone to my thoughts. And where does this lead me? It leads me to thinking of a lot of random thoughts about random people that have popped up into my life in these past few months. Sadly, only one pops up into my mind and hasn't stopped for the past week or so...I miss you, whoever you are, dammit!! I just had to let that one out.

Next weekend is Sinulog weekend and that means party timeeee!! Ahh how exciting. But, I won't think about it until about Thursday or so, just so that I don't jinx my fun on that weekend. Even talking about it now could possibly jinx my fun so what the heck...Went to CDU today and all I have to say is that I AM THE BIGGEST HYPOCRITE IN THE WORLD. I was the only one in my barkada who was soooo anti nursing, and now, look at me. Signing up to take the test. HAY NAKO. Haha oh well, we'll see where this takes me. My parent's are extremely happy, nonetheless so maybe that gives me a little more. And my whole family's extremely proud that I'm even going in this direction. So... Maybe this is my calling. Even after all the blondie moment's I've had, I'm still going this direction. Just to prove all you people wrong ;) HEHEHEH. :) Okay this is enough for the evening. Just had to air some random stuff out. Later.

There's Still A Little Bit Of You Laced With My Doubt

I've been stuck in bed ALL DAY long watching movies and sleeping. Sick, yet again. Sore throat and a cough. AHHH, it's almost the weekend so I better be getting better, QUICK!

I've been sooo mingaw for Christmas Vacation lately. I guess I just miss the people I spent it with and all the laughs and quick-witted jokes that came along with it. Even if I didn't spend it with my girls or any special guy in particular, I made sooo many new friends and got closer to a lot of different people I wouldn't have expected to... and I don't wish to have it any other way. Thanks to those who made my break super memorable!

Sinulog's next weekend already and I'm so pumped! People coming into town from all different places, what more could you ask for? And to those who can't make it :( Wish you were here. Brain's frozen. Don't have anything good to say today. :)) Later.

Won't Go Home Without You

You know how you get this amazing feeling that you just sometimes wish would...stick? Or how you meet a person, create an inexplainable connection(or so you thought) and wish they would just stick around...forever? Like the good ol' saying goes "All good things must come to an end." And i just haven't been able to stop thinking about it lately but I just feel empty. As much as I try to preoccupy myself with useless ramblings, I always end up going back to the same thing that makes me feel the need to write these entries. Anyhow, enough of this bullshit, I wanna write about substantial things. When I get out of high school, I want to make something of myself. I don't wanna to be remembered to be this ordinary party girl who goes out too much and falls for the wrong guys, but I want to be remembered for doing something important or something great, even. I have to take note of that sometime. hahahah.

Remember how yesterday, I was talking about how prayer is a powerful thing? Well today, in our Christian Formation class...Our teacher made us each write on an index card "Please pray for whatever your name is for the year 2008 and then your birthday" so we threw those into this little thing and each picked one name each. Whatever name you got, you had to pray for that person this entire year from January up until December. So me and a classmate haven't exactly been on good terms lately. But it was weird because before we started picking names from the lot, I kind of said a little prayer saying that if we were meant to be friends again soon, then one of us would get each other's names. And sure enough, when my time came, I got her name. How weird is that? And there are 50 girls in our class, what are the chances of that??? I got the chills. And to think I was just talking about prayers yesterday. Hehe. Yes, random thoughts again, sorry!!!

On another note, I would kill to get one of those Starbucks planners!!! Helllp meeee?? :) Hope all you lazy folks are getting back into the groove of work and school once again. And keep in mind...My birthday's in THREE WEEKS. (February 3rd. take note of that) Hope you all know what you're getting me already, 18's a big thing!! HAHAHAH i'm kidding :) Ciao.

The Ultimate Power

I was sitting in class this afternoon having really random thoughts and by some power something compelled (yes, I do know big words like this...I'm not a blondie all the time hahahahaha) me to write this...

A wise guy once told me "if you pray hard enough for something, you're eventually going to get it." I guess sometimes, we don't always get what we ask for no matter how much begging and pleading we do to The Big Guy Up There. Or maybe even sometimes, we get lucky enough to get our prayers answered and we finally get it in return in some little way, shape or form. Prayers are a part of our everyday lives, some people pray for the future in hopes to find laughter, happiness, excitement, wealth, health and sometimes even a crazy little thing called love. Some people even pray for the past, to change their ways or to fix what once was. But the irony of it is, we can't turn back time and erase all the things we regret doing but instead, we can look to the future to seek new things and fulfill new dreams, rekindle old friendships that were once lost and mend a broken heart from a past love. As I sit here writing this in class, memories come rushing back to me. A million memories I wish to take back and even a million more I pray I could get back. Unfortunately, that's just not the way the cookie crumbles.

Remember the movie Bruce Almighty, when Bruce got the power to control everything and he just answered everyone's prayers with the click of a mouse? Well, the world turned pretty chaotic after that. I think that that's the reason why He doesn't give us everything we ask for all the time. We might get used to it and forget why He put us here in the first place. We should just enjoy life, endure the pain it may give us and just...breathe. So here's to now and here's to the future. Come what may ;)

School Is Cool, But I'm Not =p

Well folks, it's been one hell of a Christmas vacation for me and I really wish it wasn't coming to an end this soon. It actually saddens me in a way because i won't be seeing the same people I'm used to seeing every day. And it's time for reality check because, graduation is coming up soon. And soon meaning, 2 months soon. But it's also good cause I can FINALLY hybernate like i said I would until Sinulog! I swear I am not going out anymore until then. Mark my words. HAHAHA oh noooo i have nothing else to say except, school starts tomorow and it's sad!

The wedding was great. Beautiful. Made me say "Awww I wanna get married!" Not that I meant that or anything. :)) My minds blank again. Catch ya laterrr mwah

Smile Like You Mean It

So after two nights of being forcefully dragged out of my house against my own will (okay, not really) I went out. BUT only because Judd's leaving on the 15th and...I can't not go out right? And plus school's starting next week so i might as well seize the day ;) Had fun though, laugh trips with Ellen and them at the Park, random Vudu trips and "Blonde Moments Brought To You By Layla Kiener" HAHAH.

Last night, I was sitting in this certain bar in a place pretty known to many people. I saw this young guy maybe about..20 something walking in with this really really old gay dude. Damn, I feel so bad for that guy!! Brokeback. Ughh. I don't really know what to think but all I can say is...That young guy's so luoy!! Maybe he's doing it for the money? I honestly don't think it's worth it, though. Ugh this topic just makes me sick to my stomach. Something else please? Hmmm I learned a few days ago that every seven years, every single cell in the human body is replaced. So since the year 2000, it's been seven years. We got a brand new body so we better be good to it! :p Fresh start and a new beginning. The new me, is gonna be a whole lot smarter. Okay, enough about this new me shit.

Got a wedding to go to tonight and I think everyone's gonna be there. Ooh how exciting. Fill you guys in on the rest soon. The sun's out and the sky's clear, perfect bliss. I love this weather. Makes me happy. :)

You're Snazzy

From a very well rested, relaxing, bittersweet two days of much needed rest... I decided to get my sorry ass out of bed and have dinner out with the family. It was quite enjoyable for me to say the least cause the food was delicious and happened to be my favorite(Japanese) and it wasn't chaotic for once. Haha!! After dinner, went up to Mountain View where Nina celebrated her seventeenth birthday party. It was a fun chill night. And after i vowed not to drink, i stayed sober all night! Good clean fun for me, which was actually good. I've been relying too much on alcohol this break that i almost forgot how much fun it was to have fun without drinking alcohol. At the end of the day,when you really think about it? It's temporary happiness. For the few hours that you're drunk and in whatever state you may be, the next morning, you're gonna be facing the same shit you did the hours before you got smashed. Haha yes, i made a few realizations in the past two days AND it feels pretty damn good.

I was music tripping this morning when I woke up and I discovered a few nice house tracks to listen to. I'd share the links, but maybe next time. I'm too lazy to search for them and upload 'em here. I noticed I've been pretty okay already. My moods up and I don't feel like the usual shit I've been feeling. Which is good!! I enjoy this state that I'm in cause it's careless and happy :) I'm just making myself feel good right now, leave it alone. hahahahhah. Had a good afternoon with Kevin and Kim and a delicious merienda with Johann and Ellen at Cafe Georg. Those two groups of people never fail to crack me up. Well it's time to plan my evening, I don't wanna stay cooped up in the house for too long, even though I will just be sober tonight!

Serendipity

So here's to a new year and to the new people we will become. Hopefully this year will be better than the last and all the mistakes we made, can help to make us become better people. I learned so much in the past two days. I need a fresh start. A new beginning. And this time I'm really putting my whole mind, heart and soul into it. I need to do this for me.

2007 was full of laughter, tears, enjoyment, bliss, pain and everything else all put into one hell of a year. I lost some friends, made some new ones and even lost pieces of my heart along the way. It only really takes one bad heartbreak and then you go downhill from there. And trust me, I've learned from experience. My first real love and first real heartbreak. I was lost and I still am a little lost but I'm learning nonetheless. Gave my heart away too easily and got nothing in return. But hey, this is what makes us stronger.

Besides that, I'm kinda excited for school to start up again. I miss seeing my usual friends every day. Talking, reminiscing about stupid dumb moments and being careless and free in the halls. I'm getting a little tired of this constant going out thing. Time to hybernate and stay home and watch dvd's all day. I hope I don't go out until Sinulog. Haha. Well, my mind's kinda blank.

Happy Birthday Miss Nina Madera!!! I love you to bits.

Beating Hearts

You know the feeling that when you sleep, you fall asleep with butterflies in your stomach, a heavy heart and you're constantly tossing and turning just waiting for something to happen? After a wild night of heavy, overflowing alcohol and partying, i thought this new year would be so much better!! A fresh start, but it started on a bad foot. I had fun, nonetheless but still feeling kinda empty. And it sucks, BIGTIME. :( HAPPY 2008 everyone.

I'm Baaccck

So here I am once again, pondering on the useless thoughts of life and starting a new blog. Another new year is about to begin tonight, or tomorrow rather and boy am I excited. I better buckle up and enjoy the ride because this year, I wasn't ready for what was in store for me at all!! Too much happened too soon but nonetheless, it was one hell of a ride that was sooo worth it. I realized so many things, who my true friends really are, how life can just grab you by the balls and take you places you've never imagined and the importance of my family and playing the game right! Haha yes, I'm sorry I always end up talking about love, but hey it's all around us so how can you possibly avoid that???

So this New Year, I've made a couple of resolutions:

1. Stop falling for the guys who are soo wrong for me. I've gotten myself into a bit of trouble with that already more than once this year.
2. Laziness must stop because I'm graduating soon and heading off into the unknown world of college life.
3. GRADUATE GRADUATE GRADUATE
4. Lessen on the partying a bit(but only after my birthday in February HAHAH )


Last night was a night full of revelations and realizations, I spent the whole night with Steven, Judd, Il, Koh and Arisa. And Johann even took us for a midnight drive run to SRP in his top down mercedes last night. All my brothers from other mothers were making me kasaba last night. And I guess I learned a thing or two from them. I'm utterly the most hard headed person when it comes to love. I really really am. The warnings keep coming from everywhere, and yet, I refuse to believe them because I'm so smitten half the time. But hey, if you were in my position, you'd see where I was coming from. I fall for the badboys that everyone warns me about. And that's my sickness. Oh boo, as one of my friend always says "Come what may"

Christmas break is just about to be over, everyone so cherish every waking hour with the people you love and drink up and be merry cause school's about to start and everything's about to get hectic. Well, for me at least. This is one hellova long blog. So I guess I'll end it here. Happy New Year and I hope all your resolutions happen for you! :) mwah

My Christmas Vacation So Far

Enjoy some of these photos. These are all the people that have made this vacation soooo worthwhile :)